


Broken Soul

by MoonlightRosePetal



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel is NOT a good guy, Dark!Castiel, Good John Winchester, M/M, Past Rape, Sabriel - Freeform, bobby/ellen - Freeform, past Destiel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2018-11-18 09:44:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11288682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonlightRosePetal/pseuds/MoonlightRosePetal
Summary: Gabriel Milton went missing four years, five months, and six days ago. He left behind a devastated fiancé who has spent the last four years searching for answers. When Gabriel is finally brought home, the person behind his disappearance will destroy the Winchester family. Can they heal and move on? Or will the ghosts of their past be too much for them to conquer?





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea how long this is going to be but it’ll be a substantial length, most likely. I’m also going to just apologize for who the bad guy is in this fic. No spoilers. You’ll find out who it is in the end of the first chapter but… I’m sorry. I’ll apologize in better detail at the end of the chapter. Hope you enjoy!  
> Persephone (MoonlightRosePetal)

_Four years, five months, six days._ This was Sam’s first thought when his eyes opened in the morning. He didn’t sit up or make any attempt to move anything but his eyelids. The thought came again, marking the passage of time that his bed had lie empty and cold. Four years, five months, and six days since Gabriel had gone to the bar with Castiel to celebrate the publishing contract he’d signed that morning. Sam had stayed home, tired from a long day at the office. It was an action that he regretted more than anything in the world now. Castiel had returned home to Dean, Sam’s older brother, but Gabriel had never come home.

 

Sam willed away the tears as he rose from bed to start his day. He went through the same, monotonous routine that he’d been going through every day since Gabriel’s disappearance. Shower, coffee, breakfast, work. Sam didn’t have work today. He’d taken the weekend off, citing the need for relaxation after he’d finished his most recent case this week. He had three days to laze around in his boxers, eating junk food and doing absolutely nothing. Aside from the usual Sunday dinner with Dean and Cas, that was. That was a fairly usual appointment that had never changed and probably never would.

 

He was drinking his fourth cup of coffee while sitting at the kitchen table when the doorbell rang. Glancing at his watch, Sam noted that it was almost nine which probably meant that Dean had decided to drop in before work. He sighed, wishing he’d at least been able to finish his last cup of coffee before having to deal with his older brother, and went to answer it. Dean had a habit of dropping by the small house where Sam lived every couple of days to check in. Which was just Dean’s way of making sure that Sam was taking care of himself. Really, it was annoying as hell. Sam was twenty-seven years old and had been taking care of himself since he was fifteen. But, according to Dean at least, Sam needed someone to watch over him.

 

Only, when Sam answered the door, Dean wasn’t the one on the doorstep. It was two police officers. They both looked severe and grim-faced and Sam’s heart did a flip. They’d found Gabriel. Somehow, Sam could feel this information somewhere deep inside of himself. Sam forced himself to breathe through the sudden rush of terror, forcing himself to stay calm. This didn’t mean that Gabriel was dead. It didn’t mean that Sam had lost the only person he could ever love.

 

“Uh… can I help you?” Sam asked, hoping that the terror didn’t show.

 

The taller officer nodded. “Sam Winchester, correct?”

 

“Yes sir.” Sam said, his heart pounding in his chest.

 

“I’m Officer Mills and this is Officer Bryce. Can we come in?” The female officer asked, frowning at him.

 

“Oh! Of course. Come in. Excuse the mess, I haven’t had time off work lately.”

 

He led them into the kitchen and offered them coffee which was politely declined.

 

“What can I do for you, officers?” Sam asked, taking a sip of his own coffee to calm himself.

 

“Your name is listed as next of kin for Gabriel Milton.” The female officer began.

 

“Yeah. Most of his family died. I’m his fiancé.” Sam acknowledged, fear making his body go cold.

 

“Mr. Milton was found this morning in the woods.” The male officer said. “He’s in the hospital and he’s awake but he won’t talk to anyone until he sees you.”

 

The relief that flowed through Sam filled him with warmth. Gabriel was alive. He looked at the two officers, aware that tears had begun seeping down his face.

 

“Which hospital?” He asked.

 

“Spokane Regional.” The female told him.

 

Sam rose and stood for a second. “I’ll meet you there. I need to get dressed and call my brother, Dean.”

 

The male officer shook his head, looking puzzled. “I don’t understand this request myself but Mr. Milton requested that Dean Winchester not be told right away. He wants to see you first.”

 

Sam tilted his head. “Okay. I’ll wait, then.”

 

He wandered towards his bedroom to slip on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Why hadn’t Gabriel wanted him to call Dean? It didn’t make any sense. Yeah, Dean and Gabriel hadn’t gotten along very well at first. Gabriel liked to play pranks and was always teasing and Dean was… well, Dean. But they’d become pretty close by the time Gabriel disappeared. Dean had been engaged to Gabriel’s best friend, Castiel Novak, in fact. Why wouldn’t Gabriel want Dean to be told? Dean couldn’t have had anything with Gabriel’s disappearance… could he? Dean had always been Sam’s best friend. There was no way he could have done something to Gabriel without Sam figuring it out, right? As much as he wanted one, Sam didn’t have an answer for that one.

 

The officers were waiting for him outside. He stopped beside his car, an old Ford Taurus that he’d bought not long after Gabriel disappeared.

 

“We’ll meet you on the fourth floor of the hospital, Mr. Winchester.” The female officer told Sam.

 

“Call me Sam. And okay.”

 

The two officers nodded, leaving Sam to slip into his car. They drove off first and Sam followed after them, trying not to speed because he definitely did not need a ticket. This only made the drive crawl by, however, and Sam’s knuckles turned white on the steering wheel as he pulled into the parking garage.

 

Sam nearly ran towards the hospital, hurrying into an elevator and pressing the button for the floor he needed. All he could think about was Gabriel. Gabriel waiting for him. Gabriel hurt and scared and wanting Sam. Those were the only thoughts flooding his entire being as he left the elevator and walked towards the nurse’s station where the two officers were waiting for him.

 

“Before we go in there, Sam, there are some things you need to know.” Officer Mills said as Sam reached them.

 

“What is it?” He asked, his heart sinking.

 

“They had to amputate his left hand. The bones in it were completely shattered and the hand itself had died. There was no chance of saving it.” She said. Taking another breath, she continued in a shaky voice. “He’s been sexually abused as well. That abuse was among the worst parts. I’ll leave the doctor to explain the damage there. He sustained severe damage to his ribs and both of his legs were broken in at least four places.”

 

“Oh my God…” Sam breathed, his body going cold again as the officer told him the extent of Gabriel’s physical injuries.

 

The thought of those things happening to Gabriel made him feel sick and he bent over, vomiting into a nearby trash bin until his stomach was empty. Gods. Who’d done this? Who was depraved enough to kidnap and torture someone like this?

 

“Would you like to see him now?” Officer Bryce asked.

 

Sam nodded. “Yes.”

 

They led him into a room. The curtains around the bed were shut and Sam stared at them for a long moment, the knowledge that Gabriel was behind there filling him with uncertainty. He shook off the sudden fear and strode forward, opening the curtains and staring at the man he loved for a long moment.

 

Gabriel Milton lay among a mound of pillows on the bed, his face turned towards the window. He was thin, so thin that Sam could see the outline of his ribs through the thin hospital gown. His left hand had indeed been amputated and was sitting awkwardly on his lap, still bandaged. Gabriel’s legs were in casts. When he turned to face Sam, his whiskey colored eyes were haunted and his face was gaunt and pale and skeletal. It made Sam’s chest ache and the tears came again, unbidden.

 

“ _Sam._ ” Gabriel whispered.

 

It was just a word, spoken through a hoarse voice, but Sam’s chest caved in at the sound of it. He strode forward and wrapped his arms around his fiancé, holding the other man gingerly as they both sobbed. Gabriel clutched him tightly, his face hidden in the crook of Sam’s neck. Sam breathed him in, noting with a small sob that Gabriel still smelled like candy. That scent, so familiar to Sam, was what slammed it home to him. Gabriel was here. He was in Sam’s arms and he was alive. No matter what had happened or how bad things had been, Gabriel was alive and that was all that mattered. Sam let himself relax as Gabriel clung to him, sobbing against his shirt.

 

“What happened, Gabe?” Sam whispered, brushing the hair out of Gabriel’s eyes.

 

Gabriel closed his eyes. “Go and get the officers. If I’m going to tell this… they need to hear it.”

 

Sam nodded but the curtains slid open again and the officers stepped inside. Sam took a seat at Gabriel’s side and took his right hand, rubbing slow circles into the back of it. The gesture had always calmed Gabriel before and Sam knew that it would work now as well. Gabriel took a minute to speak, his face pinched and hollow.

 

“I… the person who took me… he’s not a stranger. Sam… I… you have to believe me. I wouldn’t lie.”

 

Tears rolled down Gabriel’s face and he stared at Sam as though afraid that Sam wasn’t going to believe him. A horrible idea welled in Sam’s chest and he was nearly sick again.

 

“Please tell me Dean didn’t do this. Gabriel… tell me that my brother didn’t hurt you…” He didn’t want to believe that Dean was capable of this but… but Gabriel looked so scared, so lost. There was no way he’d lie.

 

But Gabriel shook his head. “It… it was Castiel. I…”

 

Sam’s chest exploded. Castiel Novak. Gabriel’s best friend. A man that had helped search for him, who had held Sam when he sobbed over Gabriel’s disappearance. This was who had taken him away from Sam? He stared at Gabriel, anger and sorrow and guilt filling him the brim as he sat beside his fiancé. Sam couldn’t understand how… why Castiel had done this.

 

“How? Why? I… I don’t understand…” Sam managed to say around the lump in his throat.

 

“I don’t know. We went for drinks that night and he… it was like he snapped.” Gabriel shuddered, more tears streaming down his cheeks. “He drugged me and I passed out. When I woke up, I was in some cabin chained to a bed.” Gabriel took a few slow, deep breaths. “He’s spent the last four years doing whatever he pleased to me and bragging about his ideal life.”

 

Sam turned to the police officers, his chest aching with the force of the rage that was barely contained inside. “His name is Castiel Angelus Novak. He lives at 1227 Summit Road with my older brother, Dean Winchester.” His tone grew cold as he spoke the next words. “You’d better find him before I do because, if I find him, he’s dead.”

 

Officer Bryce looked at him. “We’re heading that way now.” He ignored the fact that Sam had just threatened murder entirely.

 

Sam didn’t deign to reply. He turned back to Gabriel and wrapped his arms around him once again, stroking his hair and rubbing a slow hand up and down his back.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Gabe. I didn’t know.” Sam whispered.

 

“I know you didn’t. Castiel was very… talkative when he visited. He told me all about how he and Dean were engaged and how he saw you every other day.” Gabriel whispered.

 

“I don’t understand why he did this. It… I don’t understand.” Sam whispered.

 

“I didn’t at first, either. But he explained that he’d always wanted me.” Gabriel snorted in dark amusement. “Obsessed is more like it. He… the things he confessed to. Sam… I… he was my best friend and he killed people just because they were connected to me.”

 

Sam’s blood ran cold. “How… who did he kill?”

 

“My parents. Michael and Lucifer. Anna. Kali.”

 

Sam couldn’t speak. Gabriel’s parents had died in a car accident when Gabriel was fifteen. Their car had stalled near a cliff and had flown off the cliff. Their bodies had been found two weeks later. Thankfully, Gabriel’s older twin brothers had been old enough to adopt and raise Gabriel and his younger sister Anna as their own. Which is what they’d done and Gabriel had moved on.

 

Tragedy had struck again six years later when his older brothers, Michael and Lucifer, had died in a case of murder suicide that no one had understood. They’d been close, Gabriel had always said, scary close. There was no way that Lucifer had murdered Michael and then killed himself. It was unthinkable but there was no evidence to the contrary and Gabriel had been forced to accept it.

 

The summer after Michael and Lucifer’s deaths, Gabriel’s younger sister Anna disappeared. She’d been on her way to Gabriel’s house with news for him, or so she’d said. Her body had been found six months later in a river, too badly decomposed to discover a cause of death. Her loss had shattered Gabriel and he’d left his hometown entirely, moving to Spokane, Washington where he’d met Sam only two months after moving in.

 

His college girlfriend, Kali, had died when her bar had caught fire. An accident, they’d said. It had happened before Anna’s death and Gabriel had always believed it to be an accident. They hadn’t been dating long but she’d been a good woman and he’d liked her. After her death, Gabriel had finished college without dating anyone else and moved back home the summer he graduated.

 

Sam tried to reconcile the gentle, unassuming man he’d known with the murderer that lived inside of Castiel Novak and found that he couldn’t. All of these deaths, people Gabriel had loved, all because Castiel was obsessed. It made Sam feel sick. He’d gone with Gabriel to the graves of his parents and siblings before, had held him as he sobbed over their deaths. Castiel had gone with him to the funerals. Sam shuddered and pressed a kiss to the top of his fiancé’s head. No one should have had to go through something like this and the fact that Gabriel had made Sam angry enough to kill.

 

“He killed them, Sam. Just because they were close to me.” Gabriel whispered, his voice shaking.

 

“I’m sorry, Gabriel. I’m so sorry.” Sam murmured, knowing that sorry could never be enough but not knowing what else to say.

 

Gabriel shook his head and pressed himself closer to Sam. “It isn’t your fault. I just… stay. All right? Just stay with me?”

 

Sam looked down at him. “You don’t have to ask. I’ll never leave you, Gabriel.”

 

“Dean isn’t going to believe it. He’s going to fight this.” Gabriel whispered.

 

“He’ll believe it. Things haven’t been perfect between Dean and Castiel in a couple of months now. Dean’s suspected that Castiel’s been cheating on him. It’s going to crush him but he’ll believe you.” Sam said, remembering the previous week when Dean had spent an entire week on Sam’s couch because he was pissed at Castiel for ignoring their anniversary.

 

Gabriel close his eyes and rested his head against Sam’s shoulder. “I just want to sleep.” He whispered.

 

“Then sleep.” Sam said, pressing a kiss to Gabriel’s temple. “I’m right here.”

 

Gabriel nodded wearily, curling closer to Sam and letting his breathing even out. Sam held him as he slept, knowing that the only thing keeping him from finding and murdering Castiel Novak was his promise to Gabriel.

 

As Sam was getting comfortable, Officer Bryce walked in. He was pale and spoke in a soft voice after noticing that Gabriel had fallen asleep.

 

“Castiel Novak has fled. We’ve got an entire task force looking for him, I assure you. But we’re putting guards on you two at all times.”

 

Sam went cold. “My brother? Has Dean been told?”

 

Officer Bryce nodded. “He’s shocked but he wants to see you.”

 

“Send him here, please.”

 

“Of course.”

 

“And Officer?” Sam asked quietly.

 

“Yes, Mr. Winchester?”

 

“My statement from earlier stands. If Castiel Novak comes within 100 feet of my family, I will kill him. Make sure you find him before I do.” Sam’s voice was hard as stone.

 

Officer Bryce nodded. “We’ll find him.” He vowed and left the room.

 

Sam lay his head against Gabriel’s and tried to control his breathing. Castiel had vanished, they said. He was gone. He closed his eyes and prayed to whatever God was up there that the police would find him soon.


	2. Two

Sam woke to find the doctor standing beside the bed. The woman had a kind smile and long red hair that spilled over her shoulders. She gave him a smile and continued taking Gabriel’s vital signs. Straightening, Sam kept an arm around Gabriel’s waist and watched her work.

 

“You must be Sam.” The doctor said, standing beside the bed.

 

“Yes ma’am.”

 

“I’m Doctor Charlie Bradbury. You can call me Charlie, though. The officers that were here earlier said that I needed to explain the extent of Gabriel’s injuries?” Charlie asked the question with an apologetic smile.

 

“Yes. Please.” Sam said, dreading hearing what else Castiel had done to Gabriel.

 

Charlie took a deep breath before speaking. Gabriel had tensed up beside Sam, hiding his face in Sam’s neck. “You know about most of it, fortunately. What you aren’t aware of is that Gabriel’s anus has been torn open by repeated sexual abuse. Whoever did this didn’t use lube or any other form of preparation. The anus has been damaged internally as well, though that damage will repair itself with time. We have him hooked to a catheter and a colostomy bag and we empty those three to four times a day.”

 

Sam’s arm tightened around Gabriel as his fiancé began to tremble. He could feel the tears wetting his shirt and he turned to press a kiss to Gabriel’s forehead. White hot age was boiling inside him once again and he forced it down. The thought of what had happened to Gabriel made Sam feel sick.

 

“Thank you, Charlie. I appreciate you telling me.” Sam said quietly.

 

“It’s my pleasure. I’m glad you’re here for him, Sam. Most victims of these kind of attacks are left alone afterwards.”

 

“I’ll never leave him alone.” Sam felt sick at the very thought of doing such a thing.

 

“It looks like you guys have a visitor. Call the nurse’s station if you need anything.”

 

Sam looked up as Charlie left and saw that Dean was standing in the doorway. His brother looked like Sam felt. His eyes were red-rimmed and tired looking, his brown hair disheveled, and his clothes rumpled. But Sam shot his brother a reassuring smile and Dean slowly walked over, taking a seat beside the bed.

 

“How is he?” Dean asked, his voice gruff.

 

“As good as can be expected. How are you?” Sam asked.

 

“I… I didn’t want to believe it.” When Gabriel looked up, Dean met his eyes as he spoke next. “But he left early this morning again and he didn’t return. His clothes are gone. I thought he’d just decided that he was done. Moved in with whoever he’d been cheating on me with. And then the cops showed up and I… they told me what he’d done.” Dean swallowed. “It adds up. His so-called work-related disappearances. The late nights. It all adds up. I don’t want it to be true but I can’t… I can’t deny it when there’s too much evidence.”

 

“I’m sorry. I… Dean, I’m sorry.” Gabriel whispered, unable to look the older Winchester in the eye.

 

“Dude, this isn’t on you. You didn’t do anything. Cas did. You have _nothing_ to apologize for.” Dean said fiercely, his green eyes bright.

 

“That isn’t all he did, Dean. Castiel was behind the deaths of Gabriel’s family. Kali too. He bragged about it. This isn’t just some ‘he snapped’ moment.” Sam whispered.

 

Dean’s eyes widened. “I didn’t know, Gabriel. I swear to God I didn’t know what he was doing.”

 

Gabriel gave a thin smile. “I know you didn’t Dean-o. Castiel bragged about he was engaged to you and got to keep me on the side. How you didn’t have any idea of what he’d done with me.”

 

“Dean, no one blames you. This is on Castiel. He did this. Not you.” Sam whispered. His eyes hardened as he looked at his brother. “I will say this, however, if Castiel Novak comes within a hundred feet of Gabriel I will kill him.”

 

His older brother closed his eyes before nodding carefully. “Sammy, you don’t have to worry about my reaction to that. I loved who I thought he was, yes. But he wasn’t that person.” His green eyes flicked to Gabriel. “And, obviously, I never knew him at all.”

 

“No one did. I’ve known… Him… since I was twelve years old, Dean. And even I never saw this coming.” Gabriel whispered, leaning heavily on Sam’s shoulder as his eyes watered.

 

“How long are they keeping you here?” Dean asked Gabriel.

 

Gabriel shrugged. “I… I don’t know yet. They haven’t said. It’ll be a while, I’m sure.”

 

“When you get out, Dad wants us to come to Lawrence.” Dean told them, his eyes lingering on his little brother. “I called him on my way here and he wants you to come home.”

 

Sam’s eyes narrowed. He hadn’t spoken to his father in years, not since he’d proposed to Gabriel. John Winchester hadn’t liked Sam’s choices in life and they’d had a huge argument about it. He’d apologized in the years following but Sam had been wary to accept it with Gabriel gone. But he couldn’t deny that going home sounded good. It sounded safe. No matter how much he and his father had fought in the past, Sam wouldn’t deny that his father loved him. His Uncle Bobby and Aunt Ellen were there as well, just around the corner. There would be more people to watch out for Castiel there.

 

“I think that might be a good idea, actually.” Sam said cautiously. “It’s not safe here. At least at home we’ve got others around to keep an eye out for Castiel.”

 

Dean nodded. “Uncle Bobby called as well. He said he and Aunt Ellen will be on their way up here tonight. Jo and Ash will be left in charge of the Roadhouse but Bobby wants to be close.”

 

Sam nodded. “It’ll be good to see him. Not to mention I’ll probably feel a hell of a lot safer with them around.”

 

“I don’t want to be a burden for anyone.” Gabriel whispered, looking between them.

 

“We’re doing this because you’re family, man. Winchesters protect their own.” Dean said. He looked at Sam. “How long has it been since you guys have had anything substantial to eat?” He asked.

 

Sam looked at Gabriel. “I don’t know about Gabriel but I haven’t actually eaten anything.”

 

“I had crackers this morning before Sam got here…” Gabriel murmured.

 

Dean rose to his feet. “You guys feel like burgers?” He asked.

 

Gabriel nodded. “Chocolate milkshake sounds nice. I… I haven’t had anything that tastes nice in… a long time.” He whispered, looking at Sam.

 

Sam reached for his wallet but stopped as his older brother shot him a dirty look. “I’ll get it Sammy. Burgers, fries, and a large chocolate milkshake. I’ll be back.” He glanced at Sam. “Keep your phone on, Sam. Uncle Bobby should be calling before too much longer.”

 

He left then, his keys in hand, and Sam glanced down at his phone. Gabriel lay against his side, breathing deeply with his eyes closed. Sam pressed a kiss to his forehead and tugged him a little bit closer.

 

As they sat in silence, Officer Mills came in again and took a seat by the bed. She gave them an apologetic smile and took out a notebook.

 

“I know you probably don’t want to talk about any of this, Mr. Milton, but we need to hear the full story as you know it up to your escape.” She said in a gentle voice.

 

Gabriel made a face. “I’ll tell you what I know just do me a favor and call me Gabriel. Mr. Milton sounds like some weird old rich dude.” He said, looking up at Sam.

 

Sam chuckled. “You have no idea how good it feels to hear you say that again.”

 

Gabriel’s smile softened. “I know, Sammich.”

 

He took a long moment to think about the past four years before he spoke in a soft voice. “I’d signed my first publishing contract that afternoon and Castiel said he wanted to take me out to celebrate. Sam had stayed home to work on something for a case at work, so Cas and I went to a small bar not far from our house.” He clenched his eyes shut and continued in a small voice. “I don’t remember much after the last drink of the night. He drugged me with something but he would never say what it was. I woke up in a cabin somewhere in the forest. He said he owned the place and that no one knew about it so no one would find me there.”

 

“You can slow down, love. It’s okay.” Sam whispered, rubbing a slow circle into Gabriel’s back.

 

“I’m okay. I need to get this out.” Gabriel opened his eyes and looked at the officer. “He handcuffed me to the bed. I couldn’t break free. Trust me, I spent a lot of time trying to do just that. But, the morning I escaped, he said that he was done with me. I’d overstayed my welcome or some such rot. He was going to kill me and then set the place on fire. When he left – said he had to get back to Dean – I… I dunno what happened. I didn’t want to leave Sam like that. Whatever it was, I was able to yank on the handcuffs hard enough to break the bedframe. Shattered my wrist too but I don’t care. I left the cabin, though I have no clue how I did that while crawling on broken legs but I managed it. After that, it was just a matter of hiding somewhere until I was sure Castiel could find me. I passed out, though, and I was already in the hospital when I woke up.”

 

Officer Mills’ face had paled considerably by the time she’d finished her story. “Survival instincts are a very powerful thing, Gabriel. I have no doubt that you managed those things because you were focused on making it out alive.” She smiled tightly at him and then said, “The doctor said you’ll be released in two weeks. Are you planning to go anywhere afterwards?”

 

Sam nodded. “My father has invited to move back to my home for the time being. He owns a bounty hunting business and he wants us close so that he can protect us, I think. I also have an aunt and uncle that are flying in this afternoon sometime to stay here with us.” He said.

 

“Where is your hometown?” Officer Mills asked.

 

“Lawrence, Kansas.”

 

Recognition clicked on her face. “Your father is John Winchester. He owns Winchester Bounty?”

 

“Yeah, that’s my dad.” Sam said. “You know him?”

 

She nodded. “He’s a good guy. I used to live in Topeka and John worked with our police department a few times. I’ll give him a call and tell him that I’m the one in charge of the case when I call the Lawrence Police Department.”

 

“I’m sure dad’ll feel better knowing that someone he trusts is on the case.” Sam said, breathing a sigh of relief.

 

She smiled and stood. “I need to get back to the station to give the other guys on this case a briefing. I’ve left my card on the nightstand and with the nurse’s station. If you need anything, just call me. My cell number is on there as well. Don’t be afraid to use that if I’m not in the office.”

 

“Thanks Officer Mills.”

 

“Call me Jody.”

 

“Thanks Jody.”

 

She left just as Sam’s phone rang, Bobby’s face appearing on the screen. He smiled and answered it.

 

“Hey Uncle Bobby.”

 

“Hey Sam. How’s Gabriel?” Sam smiled at the worry in his Uncle’s gruff voice.

 

Sam took a moment to quietly tell his Uncle about the injuries Gabriel had sustained.

 

“Christ. How is he otherwise?” Bobby asked.

 

“He’ll be okay. He’s been pretty quiet, all things considered.” Sam said, pressing a kiss to the top of Gabriel’s head.

 

“We boarded our plane ten minutes ago. We should arrive in Seattle late tonight and we’ll get a hotel room for the night and come down to Spokane early tomorrow morning. You stick close to him, you hear? He’s going to need you.” Bobby told him in a quiet voice.

 

“Don’t worry, Bobby. I won’t be going anywhere.” Sam promised.

 

He hung up a few minutes later, glancing down at Gabriel. The smaller man was lying against Sam’s chest, his eyes closed and his breathing even. Sam pressed a kiss against Gabriel’s forehead, vowing silently to do whatever he had to in order to protect him. No matter what Castiel thought, he would never hurt Gabriel again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had originally intended to have this chapter a lot longer but I decided to end this chapter here. The next chapter will include Bobby and Ellen’s arrival and a surprise visit from John Winchester himself. I hope you guys are enjoying this story as much as I’m enjoying writing it.
> 
> Persephone (MidnightRosePetal)


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! This chapter took quite a bit of working on my part. It's been absolute hell to figure out the right way to work this chapter and I think it's finally worked. It's a bit shorter than I wanted it but I think it went okay. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing it.   
> Persephone (MoonlightRosePetal)

Sam was just getting off of a phone call with his boss when someone knocked on the door to Gabriel’s hospital room. Gabriel himself was sleeping, his face buried in an old hoodie of Sam’s that Dean had grabbed the night before. Glancing towards the doorway, Sam expected to see Bobby and Ellen or maybe Dean returning. What he didn’t expect is to see his father standing uncertainly in the doorway. But that was exactly who it was. John Winchester stood in the doorway of the hospital room, an uncertain frown on his face as he watched his son. 

“Dad.” Sam said, eyes widening.

“Can… can I come in?” His father asked.

“Of course. It’s good to see you.” 

As he said the words, Sam was surprised to admit that he meant them. It was good to see his father. Even though they’d had a knock-down-drag-out fight the last time they’d seen each other, the sight of John Winchester made Sam feel safe. Yes, there were two police officers standing outside of the hospital. Room and another four stationed outside of the hospital itself and Sam was aware that they wouldn’t let Castiel in. But, at the same time, Sam knew with everything inside of himself that nothing would get past his father. 

His dad sat down in the chair beside the bed and glanced at Gabriel. “How’s he doing?” He asked in his usual gruff tone. 

“As long as I’m here, he seems to be doing okay.” Sam said. He sighed and then continued, “I went back to the house earlier to take a shower and change my clothes and he didn’t handle it too well. Thankfully, the hospital has been pretty accommodating and said that I could start showering here.” 

“There was a sighting of Castiel near Seattle this morning. A buddy of mine up there called and told me about it.” Dad said. “He managed to evade capture again, unfortunately.” 

Sam growled. “The longer he remains on the loose, the harder this is going to be on Gabe.” 

“I know but you have to stay rational. We’re doing everything we can to get him in custody.” 

“I know. It’s just… I hate this. This shouldn’t have happened to Gabriel. He’s never done a damn thing to deserve this.” Sam said, keeping his voice down so that he didn’t wake the man in question.

“No, he didn’t. Sometimes bad things happen to good people, Sam. It sucks but it’s the truth. When I lost your mom, I spent years blaming myself. But it wasn’t my fault and this is not your fault.” His father’s voice was fierce. 

Sam sighed. “Rationally, I know that. But… I spent four years around Castiel. The asshole helped with the search, he mourned with us!” 

“He was a good liar, Sam. He fooled your brother and you know how hard that is. Regardless, you cannot blame yourself for something that you could not have changed. This happened and it was horrible but it was not your fault.” His father’s voice was fierce as he said this and Sam nodded slowly.

Sam nodded. “I just want him found.” 

“His twin brother is helping with the investigation. Jimmy, I think is what he’s called.” Dad told him.

Gabriel blinked at them. “Castiel and Jimmy have never really gotten along. I don’t really know the reason behind it, though.” He paused. “Jimmy is a good guy. If there’s anything he can do to help, he will.” 

Dad looked to Gabriel. “Well, he’s doing a hell of a lot to help. He’s handed over every bit of information he has on any property Castiel owns as well as hiring a private investigator of his own to track him down. He met with Dean late last night to go over anything they could piece together between the two of them.” 

“Good. Hopefully they find him soon.” Sam said.

“I talked to Crowley over at the McCleod Firm back home, by the way. He said he’d be happy to hire you on if you wanted.” Dad gave a small smile. “You don’t have to jump right back into it, of course. But I know that you’ll want to go back to work someday and the McCleod Firm has always been a decent place. Especially since Crowley took it over.” 

Sam smiled. “Thanks. That’s probably not a bad idea.” 

The door opened again and Dean entered with their aunt and uncle on his heels. Bobby and Ellen came to sit beside Sam’s father.

“How are you feeling Gabriel?” Aunt Ellen asked.

Gabriel gave her a tired smile. “I’m doing better. Weirdest part is not having a hand.” 

Bobby smiled. “I talked to a buddy of mine about that, by the way. Garth Fitzgerald is his name and he knows a guy who makes prosthetic limbs. He’s going to talk to him about making you a hand. It’ll be mostly cosmetic, of course, but it’ll make you feel less out of place.”

“We couldn’t afford that.” Gabriel murmured, glancing at Sam.

Sam’s uncle rolled his eyes. “You wouldn’t be paying for it. Ellen and I will be. We talked about it and we decided to go ahead and do it.” 

“You’ll want to wear a wedding ring someday, babe. If Uncle Bobby and Aunt Ellen want do this, then I think we should let them.” Sam whispered.

Gabriel’s eyes filled with tears. “You still want to marry me?” He whispered.

“I’ve wanted to marry you from the moment I saw you. That hasn’t changed and it never will.” Sam said, pressing a kiss to Gabriel’s forehead. 

“I didn’t think you’d want to marry me. Not after everything that Castiel did. I… I thought you would leave eventually…” Gabriel whispered.

Sam cupped Gabriel’s face in his hands. “How could that ever make me leave you? What he did isn’t your fault, Gabriel. I am angry, yes. But I’m angry at him, not you. He nearly took everything from us.” He kissed the other man quietly. “Gabriel, baby. I love you. I love you and if the last four years have taught me anything it’s that you are the only person I’ve ever wanted to spend my life with. You’re not just the love of my life; you’re my best friend.” 

Gabriel gave a small sob and threw himself fully into Sam’s arms, his body shaking as Sam held him. The taller man glanced at his family and saw that they were smiling at the couple, though Sam’s father and uncle looked murderous at the very mention of Castiel. It had been a while since he’d seen that look on his father’s face and even longer since it hadn’t been directed at him. Somehow, it was a good feeling. 

As he held Gabriel, Sam pressed his face into the shorter man’s shoulder and took a deep breath. Gabriel was going to be okay. They would get through this. They had to because there was no other choice. The police would catch Castiel and they would move past this. Sam closed his eyes and tightened his arms around Gabriel, letting the familiar scent of his lover wash over him. Gabriel clung to him just as tightly, their bodies shaking as they curled tighter against each other. 

“Gabriel?” 

The soft voice echoed in the room, causing everyone to turn towards him. A man who looked remarkably like Castiel was entering the room. The only difference between them was that this man wore a suit rather than a dirty trench coat. His eyes were kind as they stared at the men on the bed and Gabriel let out a low breath.

“Jimmy.” 

“I know I’m probably the last person you want to see but I… I wanted to let you know that I’m helping them find him.” Jimmy’s voice was deep, like Castiel’s had been, but it was kind.

Gabriel shook his head. “Come in, Jimmy. You didn’t do this. You’re not to blame for his actions.” 

Jimmy took a few steps closer. “I should have known, though.” He bit his lip before finishing. “You know that our parents were killed when we were in our early teens. Hell, you went with Castiel to the funeral. What you didn’t know – what no one knew until I found a letter that my father had written last month – is that I am almost positive that Cas murdered our parents.” 

“Why would he do that? Castiel loved your mother.” Gabriel asked, shock in his tone.

“Our parents had worries about his behavior. Things they’d noticed that were troubling. My father’s letter didn’t leave much information but there was enough to suggest that they’d thought about taking him to a therapist. The letter our father left was in an old trunk of my mother’s that I found in the basement. He must have sent it a few weeks before they died, when we were preparing to move across town.” Jimmy shuddered. “I think Castiel found that letter. He loved mother, yes. But he’d never liked our father and he knew that mother would stand beside him.” 

Gabriel shivered. “Christ, Jimmy. I’m sorry.” 

“I should have known that there was something off. We hadn’t spoken in years, not since the deaths of my wife and daughter. But I… he was my brother.” 

Dean shook his head, looking at Jimmy closely. “I was engaged to your brother, Jimmy, and even I had no clue. I never once had any reason to suspect that there was anything wrong. Cas fooled us all.” 

“Thank you.” Jimmy looked back at Gabriel. “I’m working with police now. I don’t know a lot but I know enough that I could be useful in the long run.” 

Gabriel nodded. “Thank you, Jimmy.” 

“You’re welcome. I’d better get going. A friend of mine wants to meet for drinks later and I haven’t showered yet.” Jimmy smiled and shook hands with Dean and Gabriel.

“Thank you for coming by, Jimmy.” 

Castiel’s twin brother left and Gabriel let out a long sigh. He didn’t seem to have been upset by Jimmy’s appearance, Sam noticed. Which made a weird sort of sense. As identical as Jimmy was to Castiel, he was by no means the same person. Maybe this would be a good thing. Sam let Gabriel lean against his chest as he joined the conversation that his Aunt Ellen and Dean were having about Sam’s cousin Jo. Gabriel had started a conversation with John, something that made Sam smile even wider. It was nice to have his family all together again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey again!
> 
> So, what does everyone think about Jimmy? Don't worry, he's not a bad guy. Actually, he has a big role to play in the long run. The story behind the death of his wife and daughter will be revealed over time. I'm also planning on a very, very slow romance between Jimmy and another character that I can't wait to get to writing because it's going to be awesome. (Shout-out to whoever can guess who he'll be paired with, btw.) 
> 
> Also, what do you think of John? This isn't going to be one of those 'everyone-hates-John' stories because I hate those. John loves his sons and he loves Gabriel as well. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing it.   
> Persephone (MoonlightRosePetal)


	4. Four

Two months later, Gabriel was finally released from the hospital. Dean and Jimmy had spent the week prior to this moving everything out of Sam’s house. They’d hired a moving company to take everything to the small apartment that Bobby and Ellen had helped Sam to rent in Lawrence. Castiel’s twin had been around quite a bit in the last few weeks and Sam was shocked to admit that he liked the guy. Once he’d gotten comfortable around them, Jimmy had a similar sense of humor to Dean’s and he was good at making them smile. Gabriel seemed to honestly connect with him as well, something that Sam was grateful for. It was nice to see him opening up to someone who wasn’t Sam. 

“Do you need anything, love?” Sam asked as they entered another small town. 

Gabriel looked towards him with a small smile. “I’m fine, Sam. We can keep driving.” 

Sam reached over and brushed his fingers through Gabriel’s hair. The other man leaned into the touch, smiling softly. They’d been driving for the past two hours and Gabriel hadn’t asked Sam to stop yet, though Sam knew he needed to get out and stretch. The shorter man had always hated sitting still for extended periods of time. Unfortunately, the last time they’d stopped hadn’t gone so well. They’d headed into a gas station and someone had stared at Gabriel’s missing hand. For all his bravado, Gabriel was still insecure about it and Sam knew that he just didn’t want a repeat of the event. 

Sam had been through this town before, though, and he knew where there was a small place that was usually pretty secluded. Deciding, Sam pulled off of the interstate and drove towards the small lake where Uncle Bobby and Aunt Ellen had taken Jo, Dean, and Sam when they were younger. There was a secluded little spot where he and Gabriel could get out of the car without people staring. Beside him, Gabriel made an unsure noise and looked at Sam. 

“There’s somewhere I want you to see.” Sam explained, smiling. “Few people know about it so you won’t be stared at. Besides, it’s dark out by now so we’ll be alone.” 

Gabriel bit his lip. “Are… are you sure?” He asked, sounding more vulnerable than he’d sounded in years.

Sam nodded, parking amidst a group of trees. The lake was just visible through the trees and he smiled as he sent of a text to Dean, letting him know what he’d stopped for. He climbed out of the car and went to help Gabriel out as well. Wrapping an arm around his fiance, Sam led him down to the edge of the lake. There was a table there, the very one that Sam had spent so many summer afternoons chasing Jo and Dean around, and he sat down there. After a moment’s hesitation, Gabriel sat as well.

“What’re we doing here, Sam?” Gabriel asked, laying his head on Sam’s shoulder.

“When we were little, Uncle Bobby used to take Jo, Dean, and I here. He and Ellen would fish and grill burgers while the three of us spent hours swimming or chasing each other around the table.” Sam smiled. “It’s been a while since you got out of the car but I knew you didn’t want to go into public so I figured this would be a good place.” 

When Gabriel looked up at him, his eyes were filled with tears. “Sam…” 

Sam cut him off with a gentle kiss. “I did it because I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. Besides, getting to share a little bit of my childhood with you is nice.” 

He looked at Gabriel for a long time and then pulled himself to his feet. Holding one hand out for Gabriel, he pulled his fiance to his feet and played a song on his phone. As the song began to play, Sam swayed from side to side with Gabriel in his arms. It wasn’t really dancing – Sam had never been a good dancer – but it was comfortable and quiet.

“Sam?” Gabriel whispered, his head resting above Sam’s heart.

Sam looked down at him. “Yeah?” 

“Thank you. For, you know, staying.” Gabriel’s words were soft but they made Sam’s eyes fill with tears anyways.

He bent, brushing the hair from Gabriel’s face and pressing a kiss to the other man’s lips. When they parted, Sam rested their foreheads together and cupped Gabriel’s cheeks in his hands. 

“There was never any choice for me.” Sam whispered. “Not when it comes to you.” 

“There should be. Everyone should have a choice.” Gabriel murmured, his hands fisting in Sam’s shirt.

Sam shook his head, tightening his arms around Gabriel’s waist. “I didn’t want a choice. Without you, I’m not even a whole person. You make me what I am.” He kissed Gabriel’s forehead and smiled. “You want to know something?” 

Gabriel nodded, his eyes shining. He didn’t speak, though, and Sam kissed him again before speaking.

“When you were… gone… I’m pretty sure I was half-dead. It was like there was nothing inside of me that was still alive.” Sam brushed the tears from Gabriel’s face. “I didn’t have you there singing in the shower or leaving candy wrappers all over the house. There was no one to annoy me or to curl up against at night. It was just… it was just me. I’m not good by myself. I’m only any good when I’m with you.” 

Gabriel looked up at him, the moon reflected in his eyes as he stared at Sam. “You’re good all the time, Sam.” 

Sam shook his head. “Not true. When I’m alone, I forget how to be… how to be human. I forget that the important things. Everything just melds together until nothing makes any sense. But then… with you, it all makes sense. I stayed for that reason. Because I want everything to make sense again.” 

Gabriel trembled against him, pressing his face into Sam’s chest. As he held him, Sam thought about how true his words were. He really wasn’t a whole person without Gabriel. Or even really human. His memories of the years Gabriel had been gone seemed mechanical. It was like he’d been a robot. Sam buried his face into Gabriel’s hair and took a deep breath, thanking whatever God was up there that Gabriel had been given back to him. 

Slowly, Gabriel pulled back to look into Sam’s eyes. “We should get on the road, Sammich.” He said, a smile quirking his lips. 

“Yeah, we should.” 

Sam pressed a kiss to Gabriel’s forehead and picked up his phone, halting the music at once. He kept his arm around Gabriel as they walked back to the car. 

“And Sam?” Gabriel’s voice was quiet but Sam looked up, meeting his eyes immediately. 

“What is it, love?” Sam asked, starting the car. 

Gabriel brushed his good hand down the side of Sam’s face. “I’m only good with you, too.” 

Sam couldn’t help the smile the bloomed across his face at the words. They drove on and Gabriel fell asleep, his arm thrown across the middle of the seat to rest on Sam’s leg. The taller man looked over at him and took a deep breath, feeling all at once more blessed than he’d ever been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness. I'm sorry that this is so late but I didn't have internet for a while. I know that this is a short chapter but it's really just filler. I wanted just one chapter of Sam and Gabriel alone and semi-happy. :) I know that this a time-jump, of course. But not much happened in that time and there are bigger things to work on. :) I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I enjoy writing it.   
> Persephone (MoonlightRosePetal)


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my Cas guys, I'm so sorry that this chapter is so late. I've been super busy lately - not to mention that I haven't had internet - and I haven't had time to post. Thankfully, the truck stop I'm at tonight has internet so I'm posting this tonight. I hope you guys enjoy! I'll try and get the next chapter out sooner!   
> Persephone

They arrived at Bobby and Ellen’s place two days later, having taken some time to just be alone together. Dean and Dad were already waiting for them and Sam was pleased to see Gabriel smiling more as they went to join them. 

“You guys have a good trip?” Dean asked as they got close.

Gabriel smiled. “Of course we did, Dean-o.” He moved to take a step forward but winced, leaning back against the car door. 

In a heartbeat, Sam was by his side. Though the breaks in his legs had healed, Gabriel still had trouble with them sometimes. There were times when he just couldn’t handle putting weight on them at all. Sam smiled and bent to pick Gabriel up, cradling him close to his chest as they walked towards the group standing near the door.

“You know, I could have walked.” Gabriel grumbled quietly, though his head hadn’t moved from its place against Sam’s chest.

Sam shrugged. “You were in pain. I don’t like that.” He said as though it were the simplest thing in the world. Which, honestly, it was.

“Have you guys eaten yet?” Ellen asked as Sam placed Gabriel on the couch.

“Not since breakfast. The pain pills make Gabe feel queasy and I wasn’t very hungry.” Sam said, though his stomach gave a growl.

“Idjit.” Bobby complained. “I’ll order a pizza.” He grunted, heading towards the kitchen.

“Robert Singer, you know I am capable of cooking.” Ellen complained, following after him.

Sam couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up. His aunt and uncle had been married since Sam was young and they’d always bickered like this. It was something that never failed to make him feel at home no matter where he was. Dean tossed himself into a chair opposite Sam and looked at them both.

“Tell me what you know about Jimmy.” He said to Gabriel after a moment of consideration. 

“He’s a good guy, Dean. You can trust him.” Gabriel said. 

Dean rolled his eyes. “I don’t doubt it. I just want to know about him. He’s staying with me until Castiel is caught because dad doesn’t think it’s safe for him to be on his own. Dad said he’ll probably be a target.” The older Winchester brother paused after a moment. “I just want to know what his deal is.” 

“He was married straight out of high school. Her name was Amelia and they were head over heels for each other.” Gabriel frowned. “They had a daughter together, Claire. Amelia and Claire were killed in a freak car accident a few weeks after Claire’s birth. Apparently the brakes gave out.” He thought some more and then continued, “But he’s a good guy. Reminds me of you with his sense of humor, actually.” 

Dean nodded and then looked at Sam. “You remember Kevin Tran, right?” He asked.

“I remember him. Why?” Sam answered, furrowing his brow at his older brother. 

“He’s in a couple of Adam’s classes at college this year and they’ve become pretty good friends. I guess he’s some sort of computer whiz or something.” Dean rolled his eyes. “Anyways, he offered to help dad set up a better computer system at the Bounty Office. The one he has now isn’t too efficient, apparently. Having the new computer system will help us find Novak a lot faster.” 

Sam nodded. “That’s good. Have there been any sightings?” His arm tightened around Gabriel’s waist.

“Not recently.” Dean growled, his fists clenching. “I keep getting these odd phone calls but we haven’t been able to track them and the bastard doesn’t even say anything during them.”

“He’s just trying to throw your focus, get you riled up.” Gabriel said. “Don’t let him do it.” He swallowed hard and leaned against Sam. “I would change your number if I were you.” 

Dean nodded, though he didn’t look happy. “I’m changing my number first thing Monday morning. Until that can be arranged, though, Dad wants me to stay here with you guys. He doesn’t want you to be alone just yet.” 

“It’s probably a good idea.” Sam admitted, though he didn’t like it. 

It wasn’t like he didn’t know how to fight, of course. But he had more than enough on his plate without worrying himself sick over the house being broken into while they were sleeping. It was bad enough that they hadn’t been getting much sleep as it was due to Gabriel’s nightmares. Sam couldn’t afford to lose any more sleep. 

Gabriel stifled a yawn and curled his feet beneath him, leaning against Sam’s side again. Sam looked down at him, noting that the smaller man had dark bags beneath his eyes. It made his chest hurt a little. Looking back at Dean, Sam wrapped an arm around Gabriel’s shoulders. 

“Did you happen to set our bed up, Dee?” He asked.

Dean nodded. “Dad and I did it this morning. You guys gonna go lay down?” 

“I think so, yeah. Gabe looks like he’s about to pass out.” 

Gabriel shook his head. “Babe, I’m okay. We can wait a little bit.” 

“You need sleep, Gabe. We can go lay down for a little bit.” Sam insisted, pulling himself to his feet. 

“Your Uncle is ordering a pizza.” Gabriel said and Sam rolled his eyes. 

“And we can eat it when we wake up. Come on. I’m tired too, you know.”

Dean smiled at them as Gabriel followed Sam out of the room. His voice came again a moment later, talking quietly to Bobby or Ellen. Entering their bedroom, Sam closed the door and leaned against it for a moment. Gabriel was still standing by the door, staring at the bed with an almost reverent gaze. Sam reached out and pulled him into his arms, feeling the smaller man press his face against his chest. 

“What’s wrong, love?” Sam asked, pressing a kiss to the top of Gabriel’s head. 

Gabriel was quiet for a long moment. “That’s our bed.” He whispered, tears seeping from behind his closed eyes. 

Sam didn’t speak and Gabriel finally looked up at him, eyes shining with hope and love. After a moment, he pressed his forehead against Sam’s chest again and whispered into it. 

“I didn’t think I would ever see it again.” He paused, seeming to consider something, before continuing. “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.” 

Sam understood that. He tightened his arms around Gabriel’s waist. Remembering those years still made him ache somewhere deep inside but Sam recalled the way he wondered that same thing. The thought made him press his face into Gabriel’s hair, taking deep breaths to keep himself calm. 

Slowly, they made their way over to the bed and curled up together beneath the blankets. Sam pulled a hand through Gabriel’s hair and reveled in the fact that Gabriel was here with him. After a long moment, he pressed a kiss to Gabriel’s head and closed his eyes. 

They woke up a few hours later to the sound of Dean and Uncle Bobby laughing at something. Ellen’s quiet voice was in the background, possibly telling them to shut up. Gabriel groaned and lifted his head from Sam’s neck, peering up at him through tired eyes. 

“Should we get up?” He asked, yawning a bit.

Sam nodded. “Probably. If we stay here, we’ll end up sleeping all day and then we’ll be awake all night.”

“As much as I don’t want to admit it, I think you’re probably right.”

Gabriel made no attempt to move, though. He closed his eyes again and pressed his face against Sam’s neck, breathing in deep like he was trying to commit Sam’s scent to memory. Sam held him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. This wasn’t the first time that Gabriel had done something like this, of course. It happened often, though Gabriel never told him the reason behind it. 

“I don’t think this is ever going to get any easier.” Gabriel said after a long minute had passed, his voice so soft that Sam nearly didn’t hear it.

Sam looked down and saw that Gabriel was looking down at Sam’s chest as he spoke, his expression filled with shame. It burned somewhere deep inside to see that shame because none of this had ever been Gabriel’s fault. 

“What isn’t?” Sam asked, keeping his voice quiet. 

Gabriel closed his eyes and took another deep breath. His hand clenched where it lay on Sam’s chest and he reached out, smoothing out the tense knuckles. “I’m so afraid all the time. I’m afraid he’s going to find us but I’m afraid of what happens when he’s caught. I’m afraid you’ll leave because this is too much but I’m afraid you’ll stay because you feel like you have to.” A tear slipped out of Gabriel’s closed eye and dropped onto Sam’s chest. “I’m so tired of being afraid all the time, Sam. I just want to feel safe again.” 

Sam’s chest felt unbearably tight at the admission. As much as he wanted to soothe that fear, he couldn’t and it made him feel like he was failing Gabriel in some way. He reached out and brushed the hair away from Gabriel’s eyes, staring into them as he brushed away the tears that were steadily falling down the face he loved so much. 

“I would give literally anything for you to not be so afraid but we both know that I can’t.” Sam whispered, “What I can do is promise that I’m going to be here every step of the way. I’m not staying because I feel obligated to either, by the way.” 

Gabriel’s face crumpled. “Why are you staying? I don’t understand, Sam. I’m broken… no, fuck that. I’m shattered. I don’t even know who I am anymore, Sam. Why do you stay?”

“You’re Gabriel Milton,” Sam began, his hands on Gabriel’s cheeks, “And you are the love of my life. You may not remember who you are but that’s okay. That’s okay because you’ll find it again. No matter who you are, I’m going to love you. There’s nothing that you could ever do or say to change that. I promise, remember? I promised to give you forever and I’ll keep that promise.” 

Whatever thin hold Gabriel had kept over his tears snapped then and the sobs bubbled up, loud and agonizing. They burned Sam’s throat as he bent his forehead to Gabriel’s and just stared at him. He was so beautiful, even now, and Sam would never let himself forget how close he’d come to never having this. Gabriel may not have known who he was anymore but Sam would never forget. No matter how much the events of the last four years had changed them, Sam vowed right then and there to remind Gabriel every single day – several times, in fact – just how much he loved him.

**Author's Note:**

> End Note: I apologize for making Castiel the bad guy here but it fit the story. This definitely isn’t going to be a pro-Castiel story and I apologize for that. Cas is one of my favorite characters but he has to be evil in this one. In the next chapter, we get to see Dean’s reaction and Sam talks to Gabriel’s doctor. Also, you find out how Gabriel managed to escape.   
> Persephone.


End file.
